Dread to Die A Young Daddy

I went along with colleagues to the wake of husband of Ka Celia Eugenio, our farmer constituent. That was at 2 am, yes, today.

Since yesterday, death has been a usual topic among colleagues. Francis “Kiko” M has died of leukemia. A woman farmer leader (Ka Monina Magsico) had died of tuberculosis. Then, the news of Ka Celia’s husband dying of heart attack.

Can’t help but feel the fear of dying young. Kiko did at 44. Ka Celia’s husband also did at 52. I am 41 and I still feel young.

Ka Celia recounted the days leading to the demise of her husband Ka Rudy (April 22, 1956-March 1, 2009). He complained of perennial pains in different parts of the body like he had sprains. The pain moved from one site to another.

I shuddered because the story prior to the death resembles mine. In fact, I always feel sprain in my left hand for an unknown reason. Chest pains (which I always dismiss as gas-related) are perennial as well. Everytime I sleep in the night, I make a sign of the cross and say a very brief prayer: “Lord, thanks for the day and I look forward to a great day tomorrow.” The next morning, I immediately thank and praise Him for making me alive and continue life however cruel it is sometimes.

Still, the fear is there. My reason is that my wife and I are raising a young family. Our kids are 9, 7, 4 and 1. I wish to see our kids through college. I even wish to bring my daughter to the wedding altar someday.

Yes, I fear of dying a young daddy. But to God I rest my life. He knows best.

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